1.

13.

2. Mae Dae

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3. At Death's Door

I run my desperate trembling hands
Along the floor were you once walked
Fighting tears that come from loss
I brave the rooms where we once talked
You took a part of me I never can reclaim
Your spirit's in my heart
But you know it's not the same
Straining to beat this blur of tears
Swollen eyes beg for my dead friend
Reminiscing with a photograph
Drives home (that) what was won't be again
I will to guarantee my reason will prevail
Pain breeds the need for make believe
To soothe a heart that's fail
Like a wind-up clock left in the rain
Like a candle burns away its light
We all suffer at death's door
As surely as day turns into night
I drop down to my knees and plead with the sky
Of course it does no good
But i'll give anything a try
Gazing,thinking,standing on a cliff
That guards the blue-green of the sea
I accept the blueprint of the world,that
All must pass away that's come to be
You meant so much to me
That's why there's all this pain
So much improved from our exchange
It will never be same
Like a wind-up clock left in the rain
Like a candle burns away its light
We all suffer at death's door
As surely as day turns into night
Like a wind-up clock left in the rain
Like a candle burns away its light
We all suffer at death's door
We all suffer loss...
As surely day changes into night

4. Sinking Sand

I guess I knew this day would come
When you would finally drop the bomb
Conclusion long forgone
But that you'd say it with a yawn

Thought you'd stop
Tempting fate
Change your ways
Now it's far too late

I know it's strange
Responding with disdain
But when you're gone
I'll still feel the pain

Constantly you'd roll the dice
To find your place in Neverland
Mirage that easily enticed
You into the sinking sand

It wasn't that it could
You said it so yourself
It was only that it would
You play the hand you're dealt

You say you harbor no regret
That love's a double-edged knife
To feel its sting you're desperate
To fee it deep you'd trade your life

So again you roll the dice
To find your place in Neverland
Mirage that easily enticed
You into the sinking sand

It wasn't that it could
You said it so yourself
It was only that it would
You play the hand you're dealt

5. Under Fire

I'm under fire blood red sky
Underneath the war machine
Fight for what's right don't ask why
Just make the sacrifice
Desensitized but my eyes
Still recognize the pain
Truth stark and real fight or die
Retreat has no place in this game
In the dark and under fire
Believing our cause was justified
Caught in the crosshairs condition dire
Trying a case of do or die
In the blink of an eye
I took someone's life
It's no wonder why
I'm hunted by it still
Bright Flickering light snubbed by my numbing hands
Don't understand
One finger slip and it's over for him
All's fair in war so they say
But later as I try to sleep
I just can't help but replay
When I sat in as deity
Was this man a loving father?
Was this man a loving son?
Though it was one of us or the other
I don't feel like a lucky one
In the blink of an eye
I took someone's life
It's no wonder why
I'm hunted every night
I still hear his cries
And think about his wife and his kids
And all that he could have been
If only we'd have been friends
In a blink of an eye:

6. Broken Wave

Beyond the broken waves, she walked the shore
Thoughts diving down the ocean-floor...
'The ocean flows like life: just like life...

Hope is not a thing that she inclines to take into confidence
For another disappointment, there can be no recompense
Like the vastness of the world, bad luck does not make sense
Yet, in this disappointment, the sea can give her sustenance

She cast her worries into the tidal pools
The wishing wells for lovers and fools
'The ocean flows like life: just like life...

Hope is not a thing that she inclines to take into confidence
For another disappointment, there can be no recompense
Like the vastness of the world, bad luck does not make sense
Yet, in this disappointment, the sea can give her sustenance

Paint another picture of the world
Sketch another image of yourself
Re-arrange all the contours and the lines

7. Blindsided

This is the ending of an age,the closing of a chapter that
Was just beginning...
Battered senseless, this is not what you deserve
Stripped and left defenseless, this is not what you deserve
Stabbed and left to die,all alone forsaken
Life palns gone awry, precious life blood taken
And your dignity is gone
You thought you had found something that was stable
Now you're finding you were wrong
And the promise made nothing but a fable
Blindsided, this is not what you deserve
Purposely misguided, this is not what you deserve
No foresight for this, words that kept you blind
Betrayed with a kiss, life plans undermined
And you'll never love again
You thought you had found something that was stable
Hearts can change just like the wind
So it's best to keep them safe beneath the table
Actions telling lies
Ring, an empty token
Formal-wear disguise
Vows recklessly broken

8. Acquaintance

When I spoke with you today
I didn't know what to say
It's been so long, so long
I said I'm doing fine
But what haunts my troubled mind
Is where it all went wrong, so wrong
I did not suspect
That we would not connect
And end up strangers
I could dance with you all night
Make love by candlelight
We could talk and talk but it's all in spite
Because you'll never be my friend
I could walk with you through the rain
We could share each other's pain
We could do all this but it's all in vain
Because you'll never be my friend
As time goes flying by
I have to wonder why
I don't see you anymore
they call it chemistry
What will or will not be
What's missing between you and me

When I spoke with you today
I didn't know what to say
Maybe so long, so long
If you chance on me some night
Underneath some lone streetlight
Just wave and say,"So long,so long"
I do not regret
The chance I shan't forget
And we're no longer strangers
You could dance with me all night
Make love by candlelight
We could talk and talk but it's all in spite
Because I'll never be your friend
You could walk with me through the rain
We could share each other's pain
We could do all this but it's all in vain
Because I'll never be your friend
Never be my friend,my friend
You wouldn't be my friend
And I couldn't be your friend
So long,so long...

9. Monday

I'm not alone
There are millions who are just like me
Is our life our own
Or are we breed to think everything's fine?
Just another ant in the line
I don't want to be
One more calf who's suckling the cash cow
Dressed like a corporate freak
Begging the clock to give me the chance to be me
A few moments just to be free
Swallow the lie just to get by but I'm sick of this bag of feed
Try to hide but it feels like you're caught in a landslide
When dreams die you can chalk it all up to the Monday
Blame it all on Monday
Friday feels all right: you think you got all night
Saturday is great but then it gets to late
When Sunday comes around
It brings you right back down dreading Monday
And all of what used to define you
Serves only just to remind you
Of the man you'd hoped to be
I can't believe I'm on the clock and wearing a monkey suit
Where is my dream? You know the one where I'm up on a stage
I guess I'm missing that page
Take a quick look, glance through the book before I'm put back in my cage
Shed your skin the transformation begins
Chalk outline and the finger points to a Monday
The only suspect is Monday
And all of what used to defined you
Serves only just to remind you
Of the man you'll never be
I'm not alone mindless masses trapped just like me
Busy little drones day in day out we're all pawns for the queen
I guess it's how it will be
Chained to my desk just like the rest who have surrendered their dreams

10. Progtology

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11. The Thirst

There's a man who is lonely
This could change if he'd only
Take a chance and risk stepping outside himself
There's a girl he's been seeing
From afar he's been dreaming
he could have her if he were someone else
So he silently awaits
A major change in fate
A change that comes too late
And you're reaching for a star
But can you reach that far
Standing where you are?
The wanting was too much
You're longing for her touch
It's not within your clutch
There's a man who's been thinking
To himself he's been dreaming
How to build a skyscraper to the stars
Now he starts to go to it
He's so sure he cand do it
Though he's lacking the knowledge of design
Now his dream comes crashing around him
And tumbles to the sea
Along with all he wanted to be
A realization strikes him
A harsh reality
He doesn't know everything
When the student tries to teach
The knowledge that you seek
Lies just outside your reach
There's a thirst you have to learn
A hunger inside burns
Time for the page to turn
It's the wanting,It's the hoping,It's the longing
There's a flame within your soul
To strive to reach your goal
But dreaming takes its toll
It's nature's own device
To grab and roll the dice
But each toss has its price
Emotions starts to flow
Your heart takes control
And steers you down the road
Your destination is no concern
The impulsive never learn
Just another bridge to burn
It's the wanting,It's the hoping,It's the longing...

12. Paint The Picture

So you think you've got me figured out
Studied every detail now you know me inside and out
But do you see me as I am or as you want me to be
Do you

Color me – change the black from white
Color me – use any hue you like
Paint the picture but stay within the lines
Escape your oppressor – trangress your transgressor
Turn it upside down

Why blame me when you don't get your way
The glass house where you live is just a stones throw away
It's easy to point the finger and look away from yourself
So you

Color me – change the black from white
Color me – use any hue you like
Paint the picture but stay within the lines
Escape your oppressor – trangress your transgressor
Turn it upside down

Your masterpiece complete; but you left out one formality
You can paint till fingers bleed but you'll never change reality

How does it feel to sculpt the world, to your plan?
Draw me the villain if you don't get your demands
Now your out in the rain and the colors are washing away
Still you

Color me – change the black from white
Color me – use any hue you like
Paint the picture but stay within the lines
Escape your oppressor – trangress your transgressor
Turn it upside down

14. Under The Sun

All I see, fruits of my own labor
All in vain, all for nothing real
All I taste, desappoints in flavor
What I know is fighting what I fell
This is no time to be distracted
Time lost can never be replaced
Don't let yourself become attracted
This need has got to be restrained
Where is the treasure? I know there is one
I think I've looked everywhere under the sun
I'll search and I'll fail and be dead when I'm done
But I think I've searched everywhere under the sun
All I've seen seems to lack in color
All I've held crumbles in my hands
Desperately needing something that will fill this hole
Seems like nothing can
It's time you find out what's important
This futile chase has got to end
Don't let your conscience lie there dormant
The truth can break but never bend
Where is the treasure? I know there is one
I think I've looked everywhere under the sun
I'll search and I'll fail and be dead when I'm done
But I think I've searched everywhere under the sun
I've spent my life searching for something to keep me
Constantly content
And now I'm left here with a longing for what I've spent

15. What To Say

The look in her eyes as if to say she fears nothing
All knowing smile as if nothing has changed
She thinks I'm asleep while at night she goes on trembling
She thinks I don't know how her life's been rearranged

Can't move my arms, can't move my legs
Can barely move my eyes
To take in the last view I'll ever see
It's on the stand beside my bed a picture of my son
It's constantly staring back at me
Want to tell him that I swear that if I can I'll be there
Watching over him and every step he takes
How do I say soon comes the day when I must go away
What would adhear to a seven-year-old ear?
Words that would make it clear

I hope that you don't forget me
Don't let my memory fade
It's my greatest fear

My back is numb, my feet are cold
I fear that it's only a matter of time now
There's just one thing
I've got to muster the strenght to say

Know that my love is forever
Know that and try to remember
Don't let my memory fade...

16. My Enemy

So safe within this cozy little cell
No risk at all throwing coins into a well
I lust for gold, but shutter at the price
Reward I want, but not the sacrifice

And the target's well with in my sights
But my hands won't release the bow
I've been pulling back on it so long
I've forgotten how to let it go
And I know I have the means
But my will is gone
And I fear I won't succeed so I'm holding on

A life passes by, I watch passively
I'm haunted by time, my enemy
I fear that I'm bound, I fear that I'm free
And haunted by time, my enemy

I'm frozen by the fast approaching night
A dear that stares into oncoming light
It's time for me to come down from the fence
But either side invites a consequence

Waiting for the door to open wide
Waiting for the stones to find their place
The price it never seems to leave my hands
Intentions never help me in the race
And I know I have the means
But my will is gone
And I fear I won't succeed so I'm holding on

A life passes by, I watch passively
I'm haunted by time, my enemy
I fear that I'm bound, I fear that I'm free
And haunted by time, my enemy

So I'm safe within my cozy little shell
No risk at all, just wishing to myself
The price of gold, more than I care to spend
But the cost of life is to chance the consequence

And the target's well with in my sights
But my hands won't release the bow
I've been pulling back on it so long
I've forgotten how to let it go
And I know I have the means
But my will is gone
And I fear I won't succeed so I'm holding on

A life passes by, I watch passively
I'm haunted by time, my enemy
I fear that I'm bound, I fear that I'm free
And haunted by time, my enemy

17. Follow The Sun

I'll lead the way, let's follow the sun
Be on our way envied by everyone
Our bags are all packed a breeze starts to blow
The winds at our back, are you ready to go?
I'll lead the way, let's follow the sun
Oh the last time we traveled we labored so hard
But drifted so far from home
Yeah the search is our battle, can we ever find what we want
Let's take a chance and follow the sun
Dare to dance the music has just begun
Step after step, cleansing our souls
Cathartic release, making us whole
Let's take a chance and follow the sun
Oh the last time we traveled we labored so hard
But drifted so far from home
Yeah the search is our battle though we stumble and fall
It's only a bump in the road
Oh the more time unravels, the older we are but
The less we seem to know our resolve is rattled
You would think we'd know better by now

18. Break

Some say it's better off this way, now it's over
You say the future's looking grey, if it's over:

Yeah, there's sorrow as we break –– but it's over
Yeah, we've had all we could take –– so it's over

Stow away memories of yesterday, to think over
Run away, the truth you can't betray, or pushover:

Yeah, there's silence as we break –-– cause it's over
Yeah, you've made your last mistake –-– so it's over

Words:they hurt, fingers point blame
Look to yourself and do the same
Painful thing to admit
This puzzle piece just won't fit

But we tried, and we pushed so hard 'til something had to give
Still we cried, and I screamed so loud I'm sure you had to hear
Now my fingers bleed and I need some relief
Because my back:it breaks
So I let you down before you fall but still my heart:it aches

Judgement day: the good and bad we weigh, and look over
Cast away your negative display, and start over:

Yeah, there's silence as we break –-– cause it's over
Yeah, you've made your last mistake –-– so it's over
Yeah, there's sorrow as we break –– but it's over
Yeah, we've had all we could take –– so it's over

19. Seeds Of Hate

I was set loose as a child
To find my way out in the wild
Feel asleep inside a cage
And woke up in the middle age
I felt like I was living a lie
And had to escape it all
With mortal fears I shaved off the years
And went from a walk to a crawl
I know I'm reaping what I sown
But I never thought I'd die alone
I guess I signed up for this fate
By sowing the seeds of hate
And when I finally shook the phase
I was lost and miles away
Got to hard to turn around
I'd left no bread crumbs on the ground
I felt like I should have apologized
But that was so overdue
And by your eyes, knew I was despised
I guess I was afraid of you
I know I'm reaping what I've sown
But I never thought I'd die alone
I guess I signed up for this fate
By sowing the seeds of hate
So please believe this will that you read
That I thought of you everyday
I grant to you my hollow legacy
Please don't live your life this way
I know I'm reaping what I've sown
But I never thought I'd die alone
I guess I signed up for this fate
By sowing the seeds of hate

20. Comatose

A face with no emotion
Lost in the television's glow
He's slipping into darkness
Not far from comatose

With a bottle in his left hand
A cigarette in his right
He's drowning out the echo
Of voices in the night

Through the conversation
The old me drifts away
Hiding from the moment
I long for yesterday

I hear your voice so distant
Calling out my name
If only I could answer
If we were still the same.

Oh, but we've changed

So what am I supposed to do
And what am I to say?
I feel a bit more paralyzed
With every word you say

And what about the change you want
How can I succumb?
When everything you want to do
Leaves me awfully numb
Awfully numb

Stay for a moment
Stay for while
Join in on this masquerade
Filled with regret and denial
We are kindred spirits,
Though parallel lines
Running off in different directions
Never to entwine

No way to rewind
We can't turn back time

So we avoid the subject
Our communication strained
Sheltered in the small talk
We wait for the other to change

But the song remains the same.

So what am I supposed to do
And what am I to say?
I feel a bit more paralyzed
With every word you say
And what about the change you want
How can I succumb
When everything you want to do
Leaves me awfully numb
Awfully numb

A face with no emotion
Lost in the television's glow
He's slipping into darkness
Not far from comatose

21. Black Eyes & Broken Glass

(Acoustic Version)

How long can this anger last
Unenlightened with fist tightened
Expolde and i run from the blast
My ears ringing, my face stinging

And you push and pull me, beat me and bruise me
'Till i'm aching
And you take and use me, just abuse me
'Till i'm breaking

Too strong when you come unglued
Owerpowered 'till i'm devoured
No absolution till i'm black and black
But it's too late
Hope you feel great

And you push and pull me, beat me and bruise me
'Till i'm aching
And you take and use me, just abuse me
'Till i'm breaking

Just around the bend we willh have to brake
Careening over the edge, no other road to take

Up against the ropes again, our daily regimen
Cursing then hurting, apologize then console
Of course it's problematic with an aggression addict
Needing me bleeding is taking its toll

And you push and pull me, beat me and bruise me
'Till i'm aching
And you take and use me, just abuse me
'Till i'm breaking

And you push and pull me, beat me and bruise me
'Till i'm aching
And you take and use me, just abuse me
'Till i'm breaking

Hang a picture over the hole in the wall
Try to sweep up this broken glass
Hide my face so i don't need to explain
And hope that these things too shall pass

22. Colors Fade

(Acoustic Version)

The gray light of the morning, the blue-green of the sea
A leaf splashed with color, falling from a tree
The sparkle in a diamond, the fire of the sun
They all seemed much brighter, am I the only one
To see them slowly slip away
Something changes a little, day by day

Gazing at a rainbow, a brilliant vast array
Staggered by it's beauty, saddened by it's modest stay
Taken all for granted or innocence betrayed
A lesson in mortality, eventually, every color fades

The blush of a woman, the wamth of a touch
The novelty of love, feelings within my clutch
I try to savor but it doesn't taste the same
Senses numbed and jaded a little day by day

Gazing at a rainbow, a brilliant vast array
Staggered by it's beauty, saddened by it's modest stay
Taken all for granted or innocence betrayed
A lesson in mortality, eventually, every color...

...fades away slowly but surely as if it were the setting sun
A child comes of age, gains life experience
Time gathers innocence and trades it in for wisdom

Like walking through the snow its purity is stained
Like a shooting star across the sky never meant to remain...

Gazing at a rainbow, a brilliant vast array
Staggered by it's beauty, saddened by it's modest stay
Taken all for granted or innocence betrayed
A lesson in mortality, eventually, every color fades

23. Pure

I look into a sea of blue in your eyes
And see a full and swollen moon
Resplendent in a stormy sky
I look through your gaze, its source is pure and uncorrupted
And see a wilderness of dunes, untouched,uninterrupted
Pessimis protects me
Limp hope won't let me down
Still i lust for the pure
It unties the knots and turns me around
I swear,I won't unravel this time...
I banish "too good to be true" from my mind
I'm steeled in my resolve by this gem I never thought I'd find
The echoes of your laughter fall upon me,like the calming rain
They intimate a surreal world,smooth-surfaced and free of stain
Pessimis protects me
Limp hope won't let me down
Still i lust for the pure
It unties the knots and turns me around
I swear,I won't unravel this time...
Your gaze's source is uncorrupted...Pure
Dunes untouched,uninterrupted...Pure
I'm steeled in my resolve by this gem I never thought I'd find
Echoes of your laughter falling down on me
Like the calming rain...
Pessimis protects me
Limp hope won't let me down
Still i lust for the pure
It unties the knots and turns me around
I swear,I won't unravel this time...

24. Below Zero

You won't hear me laugh,you won't hear me cry
You won't even hear what I'm thinking
I can't even speak,I'm too weak to try
Surprised I'm even still breathing
Like winter's icy touch,I'm...
Cold,so cold,from the surface of skin, to the depths of my soul
Cold,so cold,my temperature feels one hundred below
My being is numb,but I strain to fell
A heart that's become black and rotten
You don't care to look,you don't care to see
This man that love has forgotten
Asking for nothing,yet wanting so much
Longing for one thing, the warmth of a touch
I'm...
Cold,so cold,I shiver and shake chilled,to the bone
Cold,so cold, I've made my bed with a blanket of snow
Cold,so cold,from the surface of skin, to the depths of my soul
Cold,so cold,my temperature feels one hundred below,below zero
I can't seem to move, I can't seem to think
I'm not sure my heart is still beating
As life from me,flows, my spirit will go
And haunt this world that I'm leaving
Offering nothing yet taking so much
Regretting not sharing the warmth of a touch
If I could just do it all again,I'd change my ways and would not be so
Cold,so cold,I shiver and shake chilled,to the bone
Cold,so cold, I've made my bed with a blanket of snow
Cold,so cold,from the surface of skin, to the depths of my soul
Cold,so cold,my temperature feels one hundred below,below zero

25. Oasis

My destination is unknown
And i've lost my way
But I still have water
With my rations running low
I am so fatigued
Can I go much further?
Lost and all alone
In the blazing heat
And it just gets hotter
Sweat drips down my skin
And string my eyes
As I look toward the distance
Blistered hands block the sun
That blinds my sight
And dances on the horizon
Is there something up ahead?
Or just a mirage
Fooling me again
Another dried up waterhole
Lacking nourishment
Quench my thirst and feed my mind
The place that I seek is so far away
And I don't know which way to go
The vision I see is a holy place
That is tranquil to the soul
Just a nomad sailling across this earthly sea
Searching on and on for sanctuary
Weary from the chase of life's eluding dream
Strive to reach that goal but it's never ending
Raise my canteen to parched lips
Taste the water so sweet
Take one last swallow
So many miles I have come
So many more to go
Down the path I follow
Funny how we lose our way
Through this desolate land
Lives are grains of sand
Which way will the wind blow?
Sifting through our hands
To fall wherever they may
The place that I seek is so far away
And I don't know which way to go
The vision I see is a holy place
That is tranquil to the soul